Ahoy!

Today started out like any other morning, waking up to see that little Liv had pooped through her pajamas, her onesie, and my sheets? Sometimes cuddling with her is risky business, but yet I have never met anyone who wakes up so happy.
I was able to transport poop-strewn everything down the stairs before breakfast even started, like always, relying on my handy washer to soothe away my woes. Until it started making a funny noise...and beeping midway through the cycle. I take that back, it didn't make it midway through any cycle. It seemed to be stuck on the part where water is pouring in and pouring in, believe me I was watching it through the little window on the front. What is a desperate housewife to do but call her husband at work and have him give instruction. Surely Ryan can figure out the problem by not directly viewing it better than I, the one standing in front of it, can.
Well, the water kept pouring and Ryan finally asked, rather annoyed, if I wanted him to come home.
"I got it under control hon,"
I said as I flipped through the manual and made my next call to costumer service. As always, I had to talk to some automated robot first before anyone that could actually help. I was able to successfully relay my name, address, zip code and in an attempt to read off the model number--
"VF2200.."
"Is that BXQQOO..."
And then my conversation with the robot was rudely interrupted by a loud pop, a washer door swinging open, and a build-up of the last 20 minutes of water flowing through the laundry room and kitchen. Oh and there was some screaming too. (Note to self: never flip out in front of your kids, it only escalates their lung power!) I made one last call to Ryan, who in husband style drops everything to come rescue his helpless wife from the flood. Meanwhile, I was too in shock to figure out how to shut off the water, allowing another 5000 or so gallons to flow onto the floor before shutting off the back valve. Oh why isn't there some kind of handy man night school I could enroll in to be prepared for these situations?
Long story short, Ryan and I spent a morning of quality time bailing water out of our house with the wet/dry vac we have lying in our garage. I have to admit it was kind of fun, a surprise couple of mid-morning hours with the hubs, no kids allowed in the kitchen! And now our kitchen floor/laundry room/garage/under the fridge is really, really clean, and if only I could say the same for my language today, ha! Instruction manual, my left foot. Oh in case any of you are wondering, I finally made it past robot-lady and onto the next round of customer service, who kindly informed me they would get out a repair man as soon as possible...Monday!!!